[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

whole business ... just don't kill me with one of your thoughts. Quark
said you could--"
"He cannot," Data said. "He has no power here. Not to any significant
degree."
"Data!!!" I whispered between clenched teeth. "Keep your mouth
shut!"
The Ferengi stopped trembling and looked wide-eyed at Data. "He
doesn't? You don't?"
I glared at Data. "Thanks a lot."
Just like that, the little troll stopped quaking. As he dusted himself
off and righted the chair, he said, "So... what business do you have
before the grand nag us Do you seek a dispensation?"
"The grand nag us icard looked a bit surprised and said to me, "The
grand nag us is the head of the--"
"I know what he is. He's the top Ferengi. I know that, al though I've
never had the... 'pleasure'... of making his acquaintance."
"I know you, Q... but I don't know these two!" the nag us said
impatiently. "Who are they?"
"This is Mr. Sherlock Holmes," I said, indicating Picard, and pointing
to Data, I said, "And his 'big mouth," associate is Doctor Watson."
"Actually," Data said, "I am usually Shed--"
"Not now, Watson." I regarded the nag us with open curiosity
"Dispensation? What are you talking about?"
"It's my business! I give dispensations. In case you're un aware, in
addition to being ruler of the entire Ferengi Alliance I am also the
central religious official."
"You have a religion?" said a surprised Picard. "I thought the only
thing Ferengi worshiped was money."
The grand nag us stared at him blankly. "What's your point?"
"Nothing. None at all."
"Good. In any event, I," and he thumped his chest in a rather smug
manner, "am the main--and only--religious figure in this entire bazaar.
Fortunately, however, I am schooled in the religions of over three
hundred thousand different races. And what I don't know, I make up."
"But what does that have to do with.." dispensations?" The nag us
straightened his robes and then sat down again. "I absolve people of
their sins. They come to me, one at a time or in small groups, and ask
for absolution. It's most entertaining. And I look very serious, and
hear their transgressions, and then I speak some mumbo-jumbo that
erases all their sins. And they leave happy. A lot of them go out and
sin again and then come right back for more dispensations. It's a
great racket... I mean business."
"And each time, they pay you a fee." Picard laughed bitterly.
"Nagus... haven't you ever heard that you can't take it with you?"
"Rule of Acquisition Number Ninety-seven: "If you can't take it with
you, don't go,"" the nag us replied.
"You have no choice," Data said. "The universe is ending."
At that, the nag us laughed. "I see what you're up to.
You're hoping to intimidate me now with some huge lie." "No. I am
not."
"Another lie! A few more, told as convincingly, and you would make a
passable Ferengi."
Data looked politely confused, but gamely said, "Thank you."
"So are you here for a dispensation?" He regarded me with interest.
"I've never given dispensation to an omnipotent being---even a
powerless one. I can't wait to look up the going price. What religion
are you?"
"I worship stupidity, and you're my new god. I'm looking for my son,
you posturing poseur."
"Your son? Why would I know anything about your son?" "Because a lot
of people come through your tent. They tell you a lot of things.
Perhaps one of them has mentioned something." I gave the nag us a
quick description of my boy. He listened thoughtfully, stroking his
chin and nodding, taking it all in. When I finished, he said nothing.
Just sat there like a stone. "Well?" I prompted impatiently.
"Actually," he said slowly, "it rings a bell. Not that I know for
sure, you understand. But yes, it most definitely rings a bell?"
"Would you be so kind as to tell us where he is?" I said in my most
benevolent tone.
He rubbed his hands together. "what have you got?" "Got?" "Yes.
Got."
I was about to launch myself across the table to wring that little
twerp's neck when I felt Picard's hand restraining me. "Go on..." I
croaked.
"what do you have for payment? For trade? You can't possibly think,"
and he laughed derisively, "I'd tell you what you want for nothing, do
you?"
"The thought had crossed my mind," I said.
"Well, uncross it. The very notion is insulting. To give you
something for nothing? Absurd. I will require some sort of
payment?"
"I left my wallet in my other pants," I told him. "Look, I'm not in
the mood to play these games .... "
"And I'm not in the mood to be trifled with!" Then he looked at Data
and seemed to be considering something.
Finally he said, "Am I mistaken, or is he a machine of sorts."?"
"Yes, I am. I am an android," said Data.
"What possible bearing does that have on--"
The nag us cut Picard off and said, I'll take the android in trade.
How's that? That sounds fair."
"Fine, take him."
"Q!" said Picard in annoyance. "We're not trading him!"
"I'm not leaving without the information. Time is ticking, Mr.
Holmes."
"We don't leave him behind," Picard growled.
I blew air impatiently between my teeth, and then after a moment's [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]