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us as if we were common criminals! I've endured many customs passages in this profession, but this has
definitely been the rudest of all! To think that they won't even greet you with a live human being until
the end of the gamut! Even then, all he will say is, 'Please proceed through the gate'! No matter what I
said, that was all 'Please proceed through the gate'! He even had the audacity to appear amused!"
I had to give the man credit. Anybody who could weather one of Mamie's tantrums with a smile
had a very strong stomach or a very sadistic bent; he might have been enjoying watching her get
angrier and angrier. I've known some of those.
"It was rather embarrassing," Suzanne said. "Creepy, in fact."
Marnie shuddered. "I know what you mean. Absolutely no reason to feel violated, of course just a
figment of my imagination, I'm sure. That makes it worse, in a way."
Lacey frowned. "Interesting that all three of us had the same feeling."
"Let's see how Grudy feels," Suzanne said.
But it was Winston who came through next, strolling and looking quite dapper. "At least they were
kind enough to shoot my better profile. Of course, they also shot my worse one but, que sera, sera."
"Easy enough for you to say," Mamie said acidly. "All those years on 3DT you're used to the
cameras."
"And I assure you, I played to them every inch of the way. Do you know, though, I actually felt that
their surveillance was shall I say, 'intrusive'?"
"You, too?" Lacey stared.
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Marty frowned. "I feel left out."
"Don't worry, Martyn it won't be the last hostile audience you play to," Winston assured him.
Ogden waddled out, wheezing. "I dare say! If that didn't set me up for cybernetic implants, nothing
will!"
I wondered if he would have had a heart attack, if he'd had medical aids implanted. "Just as well
you didn't, Mr. Wellesley that barrage of rays and waves would have knocked them haywire."
"Always have been an advocate of nature's way," he said.
I could have debated that. Okay, Nature does turn fruit juice into wine but she doesn't distill it.
Charles came out with an affable smile, but there was a tension to his body that I didn't usually see.
He nodded pleasantly to all of us, but didn't say anything.
Winston broke the silence. "Novel experience, isn't it, Charles?"
"Yes, and one I'm not anxious to repeat," he said. "Did you all note a feeling of anxiety increasing
as you went through the tunnel?"
We all looked startled. I thought he'd described it just right by the time I'd finished the gamut of
sensors, I was feeling as guilty as if I'd been trying to smuggle in a cannon.
"Kind of like going on in front of an audience that's loaded with rotten tomatoes?" Marty asked.
That broke through; Charlie smiled. "Now you know how you'll fare in front of such a group."
"Yeah, I'll get cocky. They're gonna dare me to make em laugh? I'm gonna dare them not to!"
I looked at Marty in surprise. I'd known he had courage of some sort; now I knew what kind.
"You suspect something, Charles," Winston said softly.
Charlie nodded. "They were using subsonics on us a frequency that induces anxiety."
We stared at one another, flabbergasted.
Then Winston found his voice. 'To what purpose?"
"So that anyone with a guilty conscience will confess," Charlie said, "which, in this case, means
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anyone attempting to smuggle in contraband. He will come out in a state of nervous collapse which,
given the religious teachings he has grown up with, can only be ameliorated by confession."
Then Mamie's face darkened. "Of all the low, conniving, underhanded tricks! Can these people
possibly claim to be ethical? I'm going to tell them exactly what I think of a religion that allows them to
deliberately torment their fellow creatures." She turned away toward the customs agent at the end of the
tunnel.
"Marnie!" Winston cried in alarm, but Charlie just put up a cautioning hand. "Gently, Ms. Lulala.
It's quite possible that it could just be a side effect of their detection equipment."
Mamie hesitated, then scowled at him. "You don't believe that for a second, Charles Publican!"
"No, I don't, actually," Charlie said. "But I can't think of a reason for their trying to make us all
anxious."
Grudy came out of the tunnel, pale and clutching her handbag with both hands. "My heavens! What
an unpleasant experience!"
"You, too, eh?" Ogden grunted.
"Oh, yes! Suddenly, I'm very anxious about dying! I'm old enough that it could happen soon, you
know and for some reason, I find myself thinking of the afterlife with dread!"
We all stared at one another, appalled.
"Did I say something?" Grudy asked.
"Possibly the truth," Charlie said grimly. "We were just wondering why the Citadelites would use
their customs booth to give us all a dose of subsonics that would induce anxiety. I think you have just
confirmed my guess, my dear."
"To put the fear of God in us, as the old idiom has it," Ogden growled.
"Or the fear of hellfire," Winston modified. His face darkened. "How positively immoral!"
"All's fair in war and proselytizing," Charlie said grimly. "Perhaps it does reinforce the average
Citadelite's religious faith but in our case, it was far more interesting as an index of our personalities.
Grudy, my dear, I never knew you were religious underneath it all."
"I still think 'underneath it all' is what they were really after," Lacey snapped.
Merlo came out scowling. "Boy, they really want to grill you inside and out here, don't they?"
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"Anything bothering you, Merlo?" Winston said casually.
Merlo shrugged impatiently. "Nothing major. Oddest thing, though halfway down that tunnel, I
started worrying about having to cobble together a set for the Last Judgment, then for the whole blasted
Mystery Cycle, and make it all portable What's the joke?"
Marty and Larry had erupted into shouts of laughter, and the girls had dissolved into giggles. The
rest of us were smiling, some more broadly than others, and Marnie was laughing with a vindictive note.
Winston clapped Merlo on the shoulder. "My friend, it is delightful to know a true man of the
theater."
"Uh, thanks, Winston. Honored." But Merlo was looking around him suspiciously. "Somebody
want to let me in on the funny?"
"Of course, of course but let us do it as we pass out of this terminal, shall we?" Ogden chuckled.
We turned and moved toward the exit, Charles saying, "For the meantime, Merlo, let it warm your
heart to know that you are no doubt the first one to discomfit our friendly and welcoming customs
agents."
We all glanced back, and sure enough, the customs agent at the end of the tunnel was glaring after
us, puzzled and angry. We managed to keep the burst of laughter down to a chortle as we shoved
through the door, then let it out with a shout once we were outdoors.
"I'll get a cab," I offered, and went to look while Winston let Merlo in on the joke. I heard the
laughter behind me, and grinned. Star Company, one Citadel, zero.
Then I looked around me and realized Citadel was one point higher up than I'd thought. There [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]