[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

No matter what your communication is, it will have the most
powerful effect if you know which representational system to send
it to. There is no wrong way to process information. Visual,
auditory or kinesthetic are all wonderful and unique. There are no
right or wrong ways to experience life. However, we all do it
differently and if you are going to be a master at rapport you must
find the system key.
Begin to notice if your partner is visual, kinesthetic, or auditory. (I
know this is a lot to learn, but it does get automatic after a while.)
A good way to find out is to ask a question that will demand the
answer you need.
 Where did you go on vacation?
 What did you like most about the vacation?
 What was the most relaxing thing you did?
Visual: The sunsets were beautiful, just out of this world. I could
really see myself going back there next year.
When I laid in the hammock I could see the stars above and that
view was one to remember.
Auditory: The sound of the waves was so soothing, it was so quiet
there.
I listened to music at night, it seemed to float over the beach right
to me and I told myself I would come back here next year.
Kinesthetic: I loved laying on the warm sand, it was so comforting
to feel myself soak up the warm, soothing sun.
I took a long walk and I felt so at peace and had a real sense of
balance& I feel I would go back next year.
This is a great way to find out their primary system. Now you can
use your words to appeal to your partner in ways that will really
connect for her. Tell your story from his or her system. Change
your visual words to auditory words, or kinesthetic descriptions.
Let your words paint a picture in her mind (V), or sound like music
to her ears (A), or a create a soothing feeling in her soul (K)! And
let the words flow smoothly, and descriptively. In my
hypnotherapy practice I use as many different types of words as
possible to include all three systems. Many of us have a primary
modality and also process in a secondary modality. If you create a
multi-sensory experience you ll have all your bases covered.
Create words that have feeling, color, and sound. For instance.&
 I was at a most beautiful place a few days ago, a hillside
overlooking the valley, perhaps you have seen it? The
sounds of the birds were very clear, it was the clearest day I
think I have ever seen. Anyway, it seemed like I could hear
the sounds of the birds even though they were far away, and
then I noticed how many other sounds I could hear, almost as
if I were hearing them inside of me& . Maybe you know what I
mean. The reason I am telling you this is because of the very
special feeling it gave me, a feeling that I was almost
connected somehow, connected with nature, with the sounds
& almost as if the wind and the warm sun had a voice. You
might think it is a little odd, but sometimes there is a moment
when you notice that everything feels right, I mean& that you
see things more clearly, you hear sounds deeper, and it just
feels like you are meant to be right here, right now. Well,
maybe you don t know, I didn t know until just then, like just
in this instant, what it felt like to be totally entranced by my
surroundings. It felt like I couldn t leave, like I wanted to stay
forever. It almost feels sensual& like the most satisfying
sexual experience& to be this connected with something. Do
you know what I mean? Have you ever felt like that?
In this story you have created a path to all of her senses. You
have opened up a place in her subconscious where she can feel
what she hears and sees, and a suggestion for her inner mind to
KNOW in an instant that she is entranced and  in tranced . The
words in italics are an example of embedded suggestions that will
suggest to her subconscious mind that she should feel that way
now.
When she tells you about a time when she felt like that, you will
have a better idea of which sense she predominately uses. Listen
as she describes an experience and notice if she talks about what
she sees, hears or feels. When you discover what her primary
sense is, you can then create your language to match the way her
mind works.
17
Charisma and other things
we learn
Charisma is a learned skill. Powerful persuaders have charisma.
They are excellent at rapport, sincere, and gain your trust quickly.
Charismatic people are passionate about life. Magnetism is
created largely due to the passion that someone exudes when
they believe in something or when they believe in themselves.
Passion for life, for love, and for the moment can be intoxicating.
Practice being passionate about something& about anything! Use
colorful, descriptive, emotional words. Be in the moment, never
distracted, and create a point of focus that allows you to be
passionate and fully interested in what your partner is saying.
Describe your feelings with rich and beautiful words. Women love
men that can speak descriptively! Practice it from a book, from
colorful stories, or from observing others who are passionate until
you get your own special language that is filled with mysterious,
provocative, delicious, passionate words.
An Exercise in Passion
This can be quite entertaining. Do it alone or with an adventurous
friend. Give yourself permission to really let yourself go when you
do this. Get way out of your comfort zone and find out how
passionate you really can be. I did this years ago in a group and it
really created a powerful passion anchor for me. The kind of
passion I am looking for here is not sexual passion. It is a passion
for life, for the ordinary. Even the most boring and mundane of
tasks can be experienced from a place of passion. So here s what
you do.
1. Choose a story. You are going to tell about something that
you did recently that was very ordinary, but something that you
like doing. It could be a time when you hit a golf ball well, when
you did a flip off the high diving board, or when you baked a
great cake. It could even be when you taught your dog to sit.
2. Tell the story. No preparation, just let it be spontaneous. For
about 2-3 minutes tell it in your usual way. If you are alone, tell
it to your dog or to the chair. If you have a partner, let them sit [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]