[ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]

80
Ellen Ginsberg
washboard abs he’d been vying for since opening his gym
membership, all in one lousy month. He was also going to lose his
fucking mind.
He tapped at Ben’s leg to pull a stack of papers out from under his
thigh and replace them on the desk. “I had planned on doing some
work tonight, you know. Before you distracted me.”
Ben adjusted his foot on the armrest to kick at Jasper’s arm. “Like
you minded. What are you working on, anyway?”
Jasper cleared his throat, hoping to sound casual. “Just some thing
to help Danny with his nightmares.”
He studied Ben’s face for any sign of recognition, still unsure
whether Danny had told him about dream sharing or not. If he didn’t,
there was a chance he could dodge the issue entirely. He’d purchased
a vast amount of caffeine-based beverages from the store to get him
through the next few weeks and had every intention of spending those
weeks combing through every document BioSolve had on
experimental medications. Surely there was some kind of report on a
drug that might stop people from dreaming. If he could put that drug
to use, he might just manage to avoid Ben ever finding out about all
the garbage rattling around in his subconscious.
He turned his hopeful eyes to Ben, but there was something
clouding his expression. Jasper bit his lip. “What’s wrong?”
Ben lowered his eyes. “I miss you at night,” he said quietly.
Jasper raised an eyebrow at his mate. It wasn’t exactly what he’d
been expecting to hear. “What?”
“Forget it. It’s stupid.”
“Tell me,” Jasper persisted.
Ben sighed and looked at Jasper skeptically, but he continued
anyway. “I have nightmares sometimes at night. I don’t know,” he
said. “Sometimes, I just…I wish you could…” He trailed off as his
eyes drifted to his feet where Jasper’s thumb was tracing slow circles
over Ben’s left ankle.
“Hold you?”
Ben in the Shadows
81
Ben nodded. “Yeah.”
Jasper sighed, leaning over until his forehead rested against Ben’s
knees, and soon he felt Ben’s fingers stroking the hair at the nape of
his neck. God, it felt good. If he could just feel that every night as he
fell asleep, he would—
He looked up at Ben, but his voice stuck in his throat.
Disappointment radiated off his mate, and he pulled his feet from
Jasper’s lap. “Forget it,” Ben said, “it’s stupid.”
Jasper caught his feet, holding them in place, keeping Ben from
pulling away. “It’s not stupid,” he said firmly. Ben’s eyes met his, and
Jasper swallowed around his fear. “I have to tell you something.
Ben raised an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to go on.
Jasper sighed. Fuck it. “Your nightmares,” he said. “I know. I
have them, too.”
Ben looked at him uncertainly. “You have nightmares?”
Jasper shook his head. “We have…the same nightmares.”
He could feel discomfort easing up from inside of Ben. As it did,
he replayed in his head all the idiot things he’d unwittingly confessed
to Ben in their dreams. It wasn’t just the stupid decisions he’d made,
the stupid shit he’d done while drunk or high, or the countless,
nameless guys he’d carelessly fucked. He’d been an entirely different
person then, someone he didn’t particularly care for and someone he
certainly didn’t want Ben to meet. Raking his eyes over Ben, he tried
to gauge the expression on his face and the feelings rolling off of him.
“So all the nightmares I’ve been having since we mated…”
Jasper nodded weakly. “They were mine, too.” Ben’s body
seemed to stiffen under him, and Jasper let go of his feet, pushing
away from him. “So now you know everything.”
Ben’s brow furrowed in thought. Jasper turned his eyes away, not
wanting to consider what particular episodes from their nightly
nightmares he was envisioning.
When he looked back at him, Ben’s eyes were narrowed
thoughtfully. Finally, he spoke. “How come you get off on pain?”
82
Ellen Ginsberg
Jasper felt his face flush. He had no idea what Ben was talking
about, but he had to choke down a dry swallow before schooling the
shock off his face. Wherever the non sequitur was coming from, it
was an accurate assessment. “That’s a weird thing to say.”
Ben tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. “Oh, I’m sorry. I
wasn’t aware that ‘back rub’ was secretly code for ‘punch my
shoulders as hard as you can until my dick gets hard.’”
“Those are two utterly unrelated events.”
Ben curled his feet under him on the desk. “There was this one
dream the other night…and there was a guy in it I didn’t recognize.”
He closed his eyes, his brow furrowed in concentration. “Marc,” he
said, opening his eyes again. “That was his name.”
Jasper didn’t have to listen to Ben tell him about the rest of the
dream. He already knew where it was going.
The closest thing Jasper had ever had to a relationship was an ill- [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]